tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55138592012-02-17T01:01:02.440+08:00kleidennoreply@blogger.comBlogger411100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-45724202367263753022010-11-03T18:26:00.005+08:002011-03-06T05:33:29.760+08:00

I blog, I post pictures (sometimes), I have FB. Doesn't mean I enjoy it as much as the next person. With no social life to speak of, keeping people up-to-date seems foolish and seeing my friends having the time of their lives is not the kind of torture I'd want to have on a daily basis.The problem with this logic is sooner or later your friends will forget about you. The less they are reminded of

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-53609627604741862272010-02-23T16:17:00.005+08:002010-04-10T04:35:10.716+08:00

I see my kid version in the form of my boss's son. I guess that's why we get along even if we don't really hang out. He invites me sometimes to go with his friends but I laughingly tell him I don't hang with kids. He quipped that I was his age once and for a moment there I did miss it. Living life with no tomorrow.However screwed up you are, people grow up eventually. Okay, most decent screw ups

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-61119623755292153892009-10-05T04:18:00.007+08:002010-02-23T16:03:07.960+08:00

Part 1 of my gift as best man on my best guy's wedding day :)First Draft: History of a ThreesomePrologue:The author is the rightful owner of the Best Man position even if she is not a man. This is not her story, but a story of how three people found each other and changed the meaning of the word threesome.Chapter 1:One fateful day, in a certain group's team building in Alfonso, Tagaytay, a lonely

kleidennoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-76284050351214661142009-04-22T05:51:00.002+08:002009-04-22T06:24:02.529+08:00

I'm living the wild life here in Dubai just by walking to a coffee shop 15 minutes away at midnight...in any other country this would be a laugh but here, where the police have a habit of spot checking and holding you for virtually no reason, this would be the epitome of rebellion.Needed a break after realizing that the man I'm seeing might not be the prince charming I envisioned him to be. It

kleidennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-17519814150549405882008-11-06T00:47:00.003+08:002008-11-06T01:02:57.030+08:00

Thinking about the-one-who-got-away guy again. If it wasn't so sad I wouldn't be blogging. I was asking the obtuse man to give me a reason to stay. I said it in song as I'm too cowardly to actually say it to his face...all I got was another song telling me about love and how it is worth the wait. Maybe I should tell him I never liked waiting...see I'm already referring to him as

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-5914793155343128842008-10-24T05:06:00.003+08:002008-11-05T03:50:37.789+08:00

Can't sleep for what seems like days so something must be bothering me...I couldn't tell exactly what till I went jogging. Listening to my latest collection of "muni-muni" tunes on my Ipod and sweating it out with the rest of the over-eaters was the jolt I finally needed.A few days ago a very good friend of mine opened up the sordid details of his life, so I went and did what any normal person

kleidennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-42139342178661962952008-10-10T04:26:00.003+08:002008-10-10T05:02:21.422+08:00

I left everything at one point in my life and ever since I've been in limbo. I guess it's different if you're there by choice.I know what I am capable of, I know what I can do, and I actually know I will succeed (pardon the arrogance) if only I make a choice. This line has been going over my head a million times and it's something foreign...this feeling of not knowing what to do next.My sister

kleidennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-81751974277204980052008-08-03T01:35:00.005+08:002008-08-03T02:54:20.163+08:00

Praying was never my forte. Mostly because it was embarrassing to bug Him about something so minuscule given the grand scheme of things. So I send this to no one in particular, to please go easy on me this time...because I need a break. And sometimes a girl just needs a good cry before she can get back on her feet.I met the perfect man...yes the fictional guy everyone dreams about (given my

kleidennoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-51681609611206999932008-05-10T03:24:00.005+08:002008-06-19T21:09:57.656+08:00

When we were little...okay fine we were actually in high school...some mean girl said really bad things about my sister and she was crying in the corridor feeling really bad. One of our locker neighbors came by patting her back and asking her how she could help, if maybe that someone who made her cry needed some beating up. It was sweet cause we hardly knew her and she was one of the school

kleidennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-65833856295180344242008-03-22T12:13:00.002+08:002008-03-22T17:34:37.405+08:00

My friends were asking about him and I was reluctant to say anything...as if I wanted to keep what we had private, if only for the moment. Really not my nature to keep things private. I don't make a scandal but anyone can tell pretty much what I'm feeling when they look at me. I was trying to keep myself from bursting into song and telling the closest people in my life as little as humanly

kleidennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-10942769598950664972007-12-17T23:51:00.003+08:002008-03-12T00:26:03.517+08:00

Last sunday, my family kidnapped me as I was leaving for another shopping session with a friend."Daan lang tayong Toyota...", which puzzled me to no end since they've been talking about getting a new car for years and to just suddenly spring this on me was an unprecedented act worthy of a Guinness record.Up to the point when we were parking in the showroom's driveway, I was half expecting them to

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-37698585754073973922007-12-15T22:20:00.000+08:002007-12-15T23:00:55.356+08:00

Inner peace gives a kind of euphoric feeling that makes me not want to say anything at all. To me blogging = ranting hence the pitifully neglected state of this site. If not for the sheer coincidence that the two men in my life decided to make moves on me this month, I would have been amusing myself someplace instead of cracking my knuckles typing.Not to assume anything, they were adamant that

kleidennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-67733110870003097642007-09-02T23:12:00.000+08:002007-09-08T17:43:25.385+08:00

I am strong, I feel the full range of every emotion when I feel it...and I intimidate people. But I love like any other person...I hurt like any other person.Being accepted by people for my quirky ways...and my quick tongue...and my blazing eyes is a gift. Knowing someone for more than 5 years and then suddenly hearing that he couldn't accept the totality of me, hearing he chose someone easier to

kleidennoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-74002383460856122272007-08-17T20:44:00.000+08:002007-09-02T23:10:55.608+08:00

I have been living off the collective consciousness of separate individuals for the past months. Eating grass and bullshit has depleted my more than ample resources and so I have to siphon off a little bit here and there to get me through the day. It's nice to know that there are so many around me willing to give off a little bit of themselves ...it's nice to know that some people really are what

kleidennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-15465162855342973922007-07-28T22:28:00.000+08:002007-07-31T23:22:54.270+08:00

I got the title of this blog from a friend and I hope she doesn't mind :)I finally know, why this had to happen...the chain of events the past few months. Breaking up with my ex to think things through is not something I regret. I had to be certain and things were going so bad that I was beginning to question why we stayed together for so long. I was so mad and determined to forget him that I

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-68246559034072752992007-07-21T22:28:00.000+08:002007-07-28T22:06:16.065+08:00

You reach a certain age when you think you know everything. And then another birthday comes along. I can't pinpoint the exact moment when I realized I'm not young anymore (note...I did not say that I'm old...I'm just not that young)...but I can pinpoint the exact moment my confusion ended.It was the moment my ex introduced me to his "friend". My sister has become irritable hearing me tell the

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-90885312434672689822007-07-16T00:25:00.000+08:002007-07-16T01:28:10.586+08:00

My best friend will probably hate me when she reads this. A few days ago, a friend told me she'd seen my ex with his new girl, arms around each other, as they were on their way back to his apartment. I was pissed. Just a few days ago, he appeared out of nowhere just to visit, spouting words of his undying love for me. I've already confronted him about this girl before, and he vehemently denied my

kleidennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-76325267935123711572007-06-18T00:44:00.000+08:002007-06-18T01:07:00.073+08:00

There are times at night when I wake up in a cold sweat...times I give myself a few minutes to think about the events two years ago, on April 8. I just give myself a few minutes. I've learned not to dwell and the frequency has lessened considerably since that day...so I must be doing something right.One of my friends asked me a few weeks back why I had this seemingly irrational urge to leave

kleidennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-64451215206294949482007-05-29T13:54:00.000+08:002007-06-18T01:25:40.469+08:00

My best relationships with men...are those kept at a distance...a.k.a. "just friends". I have the best time when I'm with friends. No expectations, no disappointments. I have this friend who everyone keeps saying should be together with this guy. We were getting annoyed that maybe this guy has been leading on our friend. I will never forget what the guy said in his defense. He said that he'd

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-42078037736595363642007-05-23T01:00:00.000+08:002007-05-30T12:41:11.866+08:00

"All that a girl needs is a guy...just one guy, who would be man enough to prove to her that not all men are the same..."I got this from a forwarded text message..very appropriate under the current circumstances. Just this weekend, my ex, whom I've never compared to other men, proved to me that all men are the same. The last time we spoke, he was declaring he'd win me back...to anyone who'd

kleidennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-2683450422936097062007-05-19T02:39:00.000+08:002007-05-19T03:27:56.264+08:00

I'm stuck...I am a doormat and a push-over. And I miss being a push-over. Having someone to fight with...having someone to punch when things are not going my way...having someone to torture just for the heck-of-it...you know, the usual stuff you do for the one you love.It's a sick, sick cycle. I've had plenty of people tell me that it's not healthy...the things I do. I mean...everyone knows of my

kleidennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-36005524947854845312007-05-19T01:56:00.000+08:002007-05-19T02:27:23.871+08:00

The day my sister can finally call me 'ate' instantly made me sober-up. If it wasn't such a serious moment we would have ended up laughing. Well we still did, but only after I've said my peace.She gobbled it up like pancakes and now she's at our room thinking. While I'm out here...gloating, wanting to have laminated pictures of this moment to remember it by. It's not as glamorous as I'd imagined

kleidennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-66600106005957659502007-05-17T01:29:00.001+08:002007-05-17T01:43:26.157+08:00

Being in a relationship where you'd constantly have to compete with your partner's affection for his family will take it's toll on you eventually. I don't know how anyone does it...coz frankly families scare me. It took the longer part of my life to finally come into terms with my own family that the concept of getting another group to accept me seems such an impossibility.Getting the feeling

kleidennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-55199146364762376582007-05-13T19:28:00.001+08:002007-05-17T01:26:59.734+08:00

Pain doesn't go away entirely. You just make do with what you have, try to live the best you can, and do stupid things you don't normally do. You see everyone has their own version of the "jumping off a cliff" scenario. It doesn't matter how high the cliff...you always fall down...hard.When he said in not so many words that he couldn't love me, everything started to make sense. I couldn't see it

kleidennoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-25154575472294145392007-05-01T21:46:00.000+08:002007-05-03T11:55:19.577+08:00

I can remember the exact time when I knew things would never be the same. I was at the wake and I was trying to convince my ex (who was then my boyfriend) to stay... just to be with me. I remember complaining to my sister afterwards when he left. I envied my sister...her ex (he was then already her ex for quite some time) was with us most of the wake. Actually my sister's ex had been there for us

kleidennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-36477516199685164142007-05-01T12:46:00.000+08:002007-05-01T13:11:16.822+08:00

I was drunk last night. Not drunk enough to make a fool of myself, but drunk enough to enter that state of being blissfully unaware of whatever's not right with the world. I've been trying to remember the last time. You see, I've only been drunk three times in my whole lifetime (last night was the fourth) so it shouldn't be too hard for me to remember. It suddenly dawned on me that it's actually

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-38916791886607637242007-03-21T00:29:00.000+08:002007-04-18T03:50:00.466+08:00

I've always said to anyone who would bother to listen..."Everything happens for a reason". A very unusual statement for a self-declared agnostic who scares people with her aggressive nature.Fate has dealt me too many blows for this to be a product of my arrogance alone. I am simply saying this because despite my seemingly very pessimistic nature...I know with certainty that I will learn whatever

kleidennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-48622621832279655632007-03-11T13:56:00.001+08:002007-03-15T00:10:21.669+08:00

A guy friend once said I've got the balls of a man, which is a prejudiced thing to say cause having the courage to stand up for myself is not an all male trait. Being strong does not make me manly.I confronted the guy last week. I asked him a simple question...if he's interested with me or not, because honestly I am not the type who waits. He said that no guy would say no to me, but things were

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-57057148054714705362007-03-09T14:56:00.000+08:002007-03-15T00:33:55.369+08:00

I am a melodramatic person at heart. It may not be obvious from my sneers of disdain when witnessing sappy scenes that seem to be based on a particular telenovela, but my emotions are all over the place when I acknowledge it.Saying 'I love you...' is never easy for me. The fact that I've said it to only one person outside my immediate family should attest to the fact that when I say it, it must

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-86628265215655066762007-03-07T09:28:00.000+08:002007-03-08T00:25:27.404+08:00

My head has been pounding since yesterday and my boobs are so freaking heavy it hurts when I walk. I've been cutting down on everything (trips to the bathroom, canteen, printer, chats with friends) and taking naps whenever I can. It's a good thing my boss loves me or I'd be fired by now. On yesterday's meeting, I even snapped at one of the leads cause he was talking really loudly and I didn't

kleidennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-56038590828849928972007-03-04T02:03:00.000+08:002007-03-05T10:25:56.630+08:00

I met up with my ex yesterday. He's a good friend and I'm not just saying that since he isn't aware of this blog and I therefore have no reason to lie. We had a good history together and we parted ways not because there was no love left but because there was plenty and I didn't want to end it when it got too bad for us to even look at each other.He told me about a prospective girlfriend he's been

kleidennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-32542618106690234712007-03-04T00:09:00.000+08:002007-03-04T02:02:01.347+08:00

No more gold lights for the queen earth to keep you warm in your kingdomsHigh on the waves you make for usBut not since you left have the waves comeThe bar is dead and the rocket's rain is keeping you wet in your deathbedso high on the waves you made for usAnd not since you left have the waves come... have the waves come...Anniversary Of An ...

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-88635123881223699872007-03-03T13:15:00.000+08:002007-03-03T23:58:09.197+08:00

Make it non-existent and I'm probably just trying to read too much into every move he's been making. After a long while of trying to shrug this bug off, I met up with him and his other friends just to distribute the goods since they suddenly decided I wasn't good enough to be in one of their sessions. Not that it matters, I've been hesistant to come along anyway. But it still sucks that they

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-81131128457933602882007-02-26T21:07:00.000+08:002007-02-27T01:19:59.675+08:00

I've been asking every guy in the office if 'Pangit ba ako?'. Yup it's one of those days when my hormones are going haywire and I bug people constantly with nonsensical questions. For some reason no one could give a straight answer, which just means that if they have to think about it then I'm probably not that high in the 'attractive' scale. Here are my favorite answers:'Kung wala ako GF,

kleidennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-2731095663629707782007-02-25T22:41:00.001+08:002008-03-22T17:44:30.030+08:00

Make it zero weddings and too many funerals that I'd dare tell Angge about lest she start with another one of her creepy foreboding tales on how death surrounds me. Needless to say, I attended yet another one. This time it was my dad's friendly neighbor/drinking buddy (you should have seen my dad go on and on about how their drinking sessions will never be the same).I hate going to funerals. I

kleidennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-57464133345348119172007-02-11T21:51:00.000+08:002007-02-11T21:41:06.165+08:00

Stationary, stillThe breeze sends everything into seeming poetic motionAnd I breathe.There is this chill.Unsettling in its familiarity.I have missed that chill.I have forgotten and now I have rememberedIt is good to remember.

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-4879025346610231622007-02-11T21:36:00.000+08:002007-02-10T23:27:01.087+08:00

by ImagineMy mind blotsfor it fails to distributewords from my fingerson paper.It has ceased to unfoldfor mere words do not suitthe language of the heartand pen betrays real emotions.So I wish to send to youmy letter...no paper,no ink,no words,only my silence.Read,For I write clearly.

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-45020849551749497162007-02-10T23:09:00.000+08:002007-02-10T23:04:07.311+08:00

I have obvious intimacy issues. Being seen as emotional or vulnerable is not something I would be comfortable with. I like that people are scared of me. I like that they think I'm aloof. I like that they don't know what I'm thinking.I'm friends with this guy and he's younger, more into morbid crap than me. And I look at him and I have the insane notion that I can show him what love is. And then I

kleidennoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-58891623885036963882007-02-10T22:52:00.000+08:002007-02-24T10:49:03.722+08:00

I'm listening to more depressing songs than I usually would but for some reason I like it. Brooding fits me. I've been relatively happy in my last relationship. More than four years of unabated bliss...or so I'd like to think.I guess it finally dawned on me that some people are never meant to be completely happy. At this point in my life I had to choose...between contentment and the uncertain,

kleidennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-45089789395671714812007-02-10T22:44:00.000+08:002007-02-10T22:44:31.723+08:00

Look at me...I am the totality of years of pent up bitterness.What might have been if you had looked at me sooner...before I had accumulated the strengthof the most rigid conservative.For you can only look at me now.The barbed covering is too much for your thin skin.And it claws at you.I just sit here and it claws at you.You can only watch from the sidelineswhen you could have been givenring side

kleidennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5513859.post-1122496478736424492005-07-28T03:00:00.000+08:002006-11-19T02:34:49.970+08:00

A girl named Kleiden was once a very selfish, arrogant, manipulative girl who'd do anything for those she loved and valued above all others. Or at least she thought she did.One day, her grandmother got sick. Everyone she knew, knows how much she meant to her. She got weaker and weaker but it never crossed Kleiden's mind that she would not get better. You see, being the manipulative person she is,

kleidennoreply@blogger.com2